Everything I Learned About Teaching, I Learned From Harry Potter
This week, I had an inservice training to plan for, quarter one grades due, and parent teacher conferences. This week's post is a throw back to one I wrote my first year teaching, way back in 2011.
Or, alternately, "Everything I Learned NOT to Do, I Learned From Dolores Umbridge"
I have been trying to put together a post on implementing iPads in my classroom, or the perils of being a new teacher, or first day jitters, or adopting the Quality Core curriculum, or something generally useful... but nothing has come together.
In addition, I have a long commute and I tend to listen to audio books while I drive.
The result is an analysis of the teaching lessons I have learned from Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. (If you haven't at least seen the movie, you might want to stop reading, or this is going to sound very crazy.)
There is a point in the story where Dolores Umbridge, the evil government implant at Hogwarts, says, "The Ministry has decided that a theoretical knowledge of defense against the dark arts will be sufficient to prepare you for your examinations.". At this point, I usually make some anger- induced growly noise.
This sentence embodies many of the things that are broken in education. First of all, the Ministry of Magic is imposing heavily on education- deciding what is and isn't sufficient without entering into any kind of dialogue with teachers. Bad idea.
Second, Umbridge is focusing on some end of term, standardized test. Teaching to the test never fosters real, valuable learning. Silly Dolores.
Third, Umbridge does not allow for any discourse with her students. She just shuts them down with decrees and utterly dismisses their concerns.
Lastly, "a THEORETICAL knowledge of DEFENSE"!!!!!!!!!! Clearly, being able to defend oneself against attack is a practical skill. How on earth can these students be prepared for the real world if all they get is theory!?! This is a huge issue, in my opinion, with many math text books-- no application.
Ugh.
In one sentence, Dolores Umbridge has illustrated major no-no's in education, but she is not even close to done. What else, you ask? Let me tell you!
1. Umbridge has a terrible attitude. She's not a team player. Rather than collaborate, she alienates her fellow educators by questioning their abilities. Not a good way to get anything accomplished.
2. She has no background in education, yet she insists on writing ed policy. Yeah, that always works great.
3. She has horrible rapport with the students. Not only does she engage in corporal punishment, she degrades students and actively seeks to turn them against one another (hello, Inquisitorial Squad?). In addition, she doesn't have a genuine bone in her body, as evident in everything from her disturbing Hoarders-esque collection of kitty plates to that soul searing giggle. Who allowed this woman to interact with children?!? (Oh yeah, the government.)
4. Umbridge believes that learning is accomplished through silent copying and recopying of sections from the text book. *Shudder*
5. Like some kind of anal retentive nut bag, she must destroy what she cannot control. This means banning any socializing or extra curriculars. High school isn't just about preparing for some standardized test through a state mandated curriculum. It's also about learning to be social and forming an identity.
Luckily, in the end, Dolores is attacked by centaurs and carried away by a giant. If only the real world of education had such happy endings!
Or, alternately, "Everything I Learned NOT to Do, I Learned From Dolores Umbridge"
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| The she-witch herself |
I have been trying to put together a post on implementing iPads in my classroom, or the perils of being a new teacher, or first day jitters, or adopting the Quality Core curriculum, or something generally useful... but nothing has come together.
In addition, I have a long commute and I tend to listen to audio books while I drive.
The result is an analysis of the teaching lessons I have learned from Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. (If you haven't at least seen the movie, you might want to stop reading, or this is going to sound very crazy.)
There is a point in the story where Dolores Umbridge, the evil government implant at Hogwarts, says, "The Ministry has decided that a theoretical knowledge of defense against the dark arts will be sufficient to prepare you for your examinations.". At this point, I usually make some anger- induced growly noise.
This sentence embodies many of the things that are broken in education. First of all, the Ministry of Magic is imposing heavily on education- deciding what is and isn't sufficient without entering into any kind of dialogue with teachers. Bad idea.
Second, Umbridge is focusing on some end of term, standardized test. Teaching to the test never fosters real, valuable learning. Silly Dolores.
Third, Umbridge does not allow for any discourse with her students. She just shuts them down with decrees and utterly dismisses their concerns.
Lastly, "a THEORETICAL knowledge of DEFENSE"!!!!!!!!!! Clearly, being able to defend oneself against attack is a practical skill. How on earth can these students be prepared for the real world if all they get is theory!?! This is a huge issue, in my opinion, with many math text books-- no application.
Ugh.
In one sentence, Dolores Umbridge has illustrated major no-no's in education, but she is not even close to done. What else, you ask? Let me tell you!
1. Umbridge has a terrible attitude. She's not a team player. Rather than collaborate, she alienates her fellow educators by questioning their abilities. Not a good way to get anything accomplished.
2. She has no background in education, yet she insists on writing ed policy. Yeah, that always works great.
3. She has horrible rapport with the students. Not only does she engage in corporal punishment, she degrades students and actively seeks to turn them against one another (hello, Inquisitorial Squad?). In addition, she doesn't have a genuine bone in her body, as evident in everything from her disturbing Hoarders-esque collection of kitty plates to that soul searing giggle. Who allowed this woman to interact with children?!? (Oh yeah, the government.)
4. Umbridge believes that learning is accomplished through silent copying and recopying of sections from the text book. *Shudder*
5. Like some kind of anal retentive nut bag, she must destroy what she cannot control. This means banning any socializing or extra curriculars. High school isn't just about preparing for some standardized test through a state mandated curriculum. It's also about learning to be social and forming an identity.
Luckily, in the end, Dolores is attacked by centaurs and carried away by a giant. If only the real world of education had such happy endings!
This is amazing. First of all, I am a a HUGE harry potter geek and a crazy critic of "the system." Thank you so much for this post! I hope everythings going well and I'm glad to hear that you're trying to utilize the technology for things besides drill and kill (earlier post). My classroom has no technology and I just hope your teammates let you be as the year goes on so you can do more exploratory learning with all those amazing resources!
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